Each morning, she faced discrimination. Nazz chosen to be class monitor, was ordered to take off the earrings because the head teacher, believing that she was a boy, would not allow her to wear them. She was forced to pull up her school trousers so that teachers could check is she was wearing the right colour of socks that boys were supposed to wear..

"I remember one day when I sneaked out of school with my boys. and the following day I was given the same punishement as the boys," she said, referring to he group pof friends who are primarily male. At her school, students were punished according to their gender, girls were beaten on the hand and boys were beaten on their back.

More than anything, Nazz now in her twenties, wishes she could confront the head teacher about her gender identity but was scared that she would be expelled from school.
And when she got home, she still had to keep the secret.

From an early age, her parents knew that their daughter was a tomboy but she believes they would not accept her sexuality as a lesbian.  

"My parents do not know my sexuality because there are religious people and cannot understand, she said, looking as if she was going to cry and shaking her head. It is painful.
They still look forward to seeing her as a married woman with a caring husband and lovely children, but the truth is that she is dating this durable and wonderful girl who's five years older.
"We always visit my parents but they don't know that she is my girlfriend", she added.

So, Nazz still remains in the closet. She lives with her partner but only friend know that they are a couple.
"I am scared if people find out, then they might attack or burn our house or even call the police," she said. Although it is not against the law to have an identity as either gay or lesbian, the sexual act of homosexuals is considered illegal in Botswana, similar to some other sub-Saharan African countries.

In many of these countries and including Botswana, programmes on HIV/AIDS ignore the issue of same-sex relationships.
"Today, LGBTIs are discriminated against in hospitals and clinics. We are not given proper consultancy when we are sick," Nazz said.

She prays day and night for the legalisation of homosexuality because she can't stand being in the closeyy for the rest of her life. She dreams of getting married one day to her life-time partner and receive benefits just like any other married couple in her home country.
"Sometimes, I ask myself, why do I love women, why not men?" she said, frustrated by the discrimination she encounters.
Nazz hurts herslf physically to overcome emotional and psychological pain of having to keep such a secret to herself. She has cut herself using knives, razor blades or broken bottles. She says when she sees blood, that's when she feels relief from anger.

When she made the self-discovery about her sexuality, she tried to commit suicide several times. The first time, her friend Moggy* stopped her but she still bears the scars. Two thick, dark lines coil around the neck from where the rope was tightened and scratches appear on the left side of her neck, showing where Moggy loosened the noose

"This one," she says, pointing at a big scar on her arm, "I stabbed myself with a knife after I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me."
"It hurts me day and night that I can not express my love to my girlfriend everywhere and anytime," she said with tears running down her cheeks.

Names have been changed to protect individual's identity



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Athletes to represent Botswana in gay and lesbian games

By Prisca Mogapi
Gaborone: In a country notorious for being dry, Caine has no problem spending two hours in water every day.
Swimming up to four kilometers a practice, he is training, soon to become the first athlete from Botswana to participate in two upcoming international sporting events for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered and intersexed (LGBTI).

The 25-year-old swimmer will compete at the annual Gay Games, to be held in Chicago, USA, from 15 to 22 July, then head to Montrial for the worlds first Out Reach Games at the end of the month. In Canada, he will be joined by a seven-member women's basketball team, which will also represent Botswana.

More But many LGBTI feel unable to show off their sporting and other talents because they are afraid of discrimination against their sexual orientation. Support from the public for Botswana's participation in the two sporting events has been generally lacking.
Some would be happy and some won't be happy, said Caine