Problems? Questions? Confusions?
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Seeking a partner?
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Should i tell my parents??
Fabulous duo, I am a
21 year old
university student, some of my friends know that am gay becausei have
told them. Now i really wat
to come out and tell my parents because i dont like living this secret
life. but i jus dont know how to come about it. Please Help..
Fab Duo
responds
First, congratulations for coming out to your
friends. Its not
everybody's cup of tea to come out to anyone. Just take your time.
We usually underestimate our parents. Our parents usually understand us
more than we think they do.
You don't have to tell your parents that you are gay unless you feel
strong about it.
Is there a member of your family that you can freely talk to? Talk to
him/her extensively making him/her understand what you are going
through so that he/she can talk to your parents.
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I'm confused..
I am a 27 year old man
who is confused about his sexuality and want to understand what I am
going through. I have been involved with a girl for almost one
year,
but i also sleep with guys sometimes. I am not attracted to guys but I
have sex with them. What i want to understand is: what am I? My
girlfriend has left me after she found out. Please Help.
Big Boy T
Fabulous Dou Responds
To Big Boy T
Glad you wrote to us for assistance. From the
little that you have said, you are not gay but a heterosexual who has
sex with men. There is a difference between having sex with another
guy and being gay. Gay men are emotinally, physically and sexually
attracted to other men. Heterosexual guys who sleep with other guys are
only sexually attracted to guys but you only sleep with them.
In certain circumstances it is not unusual for heterosexuals to have
homosexual sex. Don't worry! Most probably you are not gay! In any case
accept yourself for what you are and what you like to do.
As for the breakup with your girlfriend, you have not been fair to her
and her leaving you was probably for the best. Successful relationships
need good communication and honesty. Big Boy T, next time you get
involved with someone, tell them the truth about yourself and be loyal
to them.
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Help!!
I am a 19 year old guy who is concerned about sexuality
expression. I accept everybody the way they are and I really support you guys.
When I was a young boy I had homosexual sex with a friend of mine and nowadays
it looks like my past is catching up with me.
Please don't tell me that I am gay
and should remain gay because I am not and I won't let myself be gay. What I want to know is
how do I overcome my past? How do I inform people that having a soft voice as a male is not a
sign of being gay?
"AM"
Fabulous Dou Responds
Dear "AM"
Thank you for writing to us for assistance. We appreciate your support.
First, having "gay sex" DOES NOT make anybody gay. Second, we DO NOT change peoples' sexuality and
no one can change anybody's sexuality.
Sex does not define sexuality, emotions do. We can't ask you
to "remain" gay since you are not gay and we do not make decisions for people, we just
give advice then you make your own decision. As for your involuntary reflections of the past,
it's not easy to forget about childhood; after all you are still young to forget about your childhood.
You will probably forget about it as you age. If it's really tormenting you, maybe you should seek professional
counselling. If you need us to refer you to a professional counselor, contact us and we will gladly do that.
In counseling, what is done is to help people deal with problems not to forget them. So hopefully they will help you
deal with your past. It's true not all soft-voiced people are gay, we cannot assume people's
sexuality by their appearance or tone of their voices. Good Luck "AM"
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False identification
This letter is from a
25 year old lady in Francistown who is agitated about how people treat
me. I am a masculine built lady and very competitive sports wise.
I am attracted to males but I cant take this
anymore. How can I stop people from referring to me as a lesbian?
Furiuos Girl
Fabulous Dou Responds
Furiuos Girl
You dont have to be
furious or even agitated about what people think about you.
People will never stop talking or gossiping. Just ignore them and live
your life as you find fit. A person's body built DOES NOT define their
sexuality. You said it yourself, you are attracted to males, so just
forget what people isinuate about you. By the way, you DO NOT owe
anyone an explanation. Be fabulous, not furious.
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I'm lonely
I am a lonely gay man
who is desperately in need of a relationship.
I am 20 years old and I am the only one who has
not been involved or not involved amongst my group of friends. Please
help me, how do I meet guys?
Lonely T
Fabulous Dou Responds
Lonely T
Are you sure you are
ready for a relationship? You call yourself lonely T but your letter
also suggests that you are concerned that all your friends have
relationships except you.
Relationships are for two people to share love, sadness, happiness,
sorrow, time, life and other ups and downs of living. Lonely T, you
sholud not long to be in a relationship because all your friends are
involved while you aren't. You are still young; you still have plenty
of time to meet someone. Do not rush yourself.
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Age twist...
Hey there, I am a 23
yr old femme female (bisexual, yes) and am in a twist. I've sort of
developed a tight friendship with a 17 yr old gal. We get on like a
house on fire and she is not like any other teenage gals.. She has
a very matured way of thinking and acting at times i think am talikng
to someone from my age group. Now i seem to be developing some strong
feelings for her and been trying to cover them up because I feel like I
don't want to influence her in to stuff and later on be blamed for
that. But on the other hand she claims to have the very same feelings
for me, and even initiates the first moves (don't worry we've only
kissed). If we were in the same age group I would have long pusued a
relationship with her. I guess I have a problem with age and somehow
want to hear or know if it's okay. Help
From Darkangel
Fabulous Dou Responds
To Darkangel
Thank you for your email. I don't think there is a
problem with your age difference because to me you are in the same age
group (17-23). If you really have feelings for each other like you
say i don't see any thing stopping you unless if you are not sure of
your feelings. Love is blind and age is just a number. Ask he what does
she feel about you, and I don't think you can be blamed because you
have already kissed. Keep being fabulous.. |
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